pummelgranite | [MoM][IC Contact]

[ Uuugh what does this prick want. ]

If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead.

[ Look, sometimes your dad and your boyfriend make you feel real bad about your life choices. ]

So, no? That song you sent wasn't specifically aimed to make me kill myself?

Wow. Please keep talking to me and see if you change my mind about wanting you dead.

Edited 2016-10-11 23:18 (UTC)

It's a legitimate question. Did you intend it or was it just a side effect of - whatever your actual intent was?

[ Her actual intent- she'd wanted him to understand the pain of that betrayal and rejection. Being named The Destroyer before she'd taken her first breath. The heartbreak and death that had come from simply existing. The knowledge that things would truly be better off if Ananke had only been quicker to the draw.

What had she wanted him to do with that feeling, then? Just be in pain? She hadn't even thought this trough. Why had she sunk low enough to simply want to hurt someone for the sake of it. Is it at all unreasonable to think she's this malicious?

He certainly thinks its reasonable to want to die, when faced by the truth of her origins.

There is a long time before the reply comes: ]

No. Didn't want you dead.

[ Aha. He knew it. As dangerous as that song had been for him, he had thought it wasn't an outright murder attempt. It had seemed wrong. There had been fragments that seemed odd in the context of just aiming for Miles' heart. It had just all been caught up in the greater cacophony of Miles' visceral reaction.

There's a long pause on his end too as he mulls what to say next. ]

Well. Good. I'm glad of that.

What was it?

[ Glad for that? Glad that he can compartmentalize it away? Someone who can understand the truth of her- enough to want to die from it but just shrug it off?

She's not sure if she hates his glib carelessness or her own greedy stupidity more. She was so careless with her song when she first got here, stupid. It's supposed to be an inspiration, not a weapon, or a horror. Now there's some asshole with her private number and way too much information.

If killing him would actually fix this, it would be a compelling option. ]

Just a song. You should go see a shrink if you're that unstable.

[ Wrong. Cruel. Uncalled for. Jesus she's an asshole but fuck this guy but also fuck her too. ]

Edited 2016-10-11 23:45 (UTC)

[ If only Miles were a hair less self-absorbed. As it is, he rolls forward with his usual momentum. And a glare at his screen. Did she really just - god. Every time someone tells him to go see a psychiatrist, it makes him that much more determined never to have anything to do with them. Even if he knows he has issues to work out. ]

Or perhaps you should exercise more care with your singing. If I had listened to that recording anywhere with sharp implements available, we would be having a different conversation.

You can go fuck your exercised care. I am a sharp implement.

Better to be the wielder than the weapon.

Uh huh. She probably would have agreed with you.

Edited 2016-10-12 00:08 (UTC)

... She? Who's she?

The wielder. Former. Get it?

Killed her? Maybe we would have gotten on well then.

[ What's he even saying now? Would he? This whole conversation makes less and less sense. Like it's a conversation between two different people. Or at least, not involving her at all.

She's . . . mad, right? She was mad a moment ago, and she's sure that mad is what she's feeling now, but it feels like she went past that. Went too far and now everything is seeming rapidly less real. Her insides are congealing and cooling like a corpse's might.

She tries to hold onto the anger. Anger's easy, isn't it? Anger is hers, right? Anger can just say "fuck you," and it won't leave her alone to the darkness and fog. Anger won't forget how to breathe, like she's about to. ]

Fuck you.

Edited 2016-10-12 00:29 (UTC)

[ If they were talking face to face, Miles might see some of that and sympathize. If they were even actually talking to each other and not mutually lashing out, he might have sympathized then too.

Instead they have this train wreck. ]

What's next? Going to tell me to go kill myself?

[ She should point out again that it wasn't her intent. She should tell him he didn't hear anything that's not inside her head 24/7. She should just tell him to fuck off again. Or to leave her alone. Insult his height, his weird obvious fetish-bait body guard. Something. Anything. Just reply.

Instead, she places her phone face down. Then she finds the furthest, safest corner of the mausoleum she can find and lays down in it with her hood pulled up over her head. ]

[ Miles watches his phone like a hawk for the first few minutes. Then he paces. Then the guilt starts to sink in, slowly. He hadn't meant for that to go quite as poorly as that. But what did he expect? And what was he trying to do really? Hurt himself on her? Her self description as a sharp implement isn't far off the mark ... Gregor and Aral's stricken faces are what make him put his own phone down, eventually.

He's going to take a goddamn walk. Heropa's park is nice this time of year ... maybe he can wrangle up some trouble (and rescue a Vulcan) while he's at it. ]

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