[ She still doesn't look at him. Her back is against the base of a marble statue, and her gaze stares into the darkness of the cemetery without focusing on anything in particular.
He's right, isn't he? There is no point to her. Even less than anyone else in the Pantheon. Here's where he's wrong though, she was more than they made her. Far more violent, and cruel, and dangerous. The Soviets had just wanted an obedient soldier, so why had she become a rabid monster? Why had she rubbed her viciousness into Batman's face. Why had she forced him to bear the punishment for her atrocities? Why did she hate John so much as to break his body over and over and over and over and-
There had been a fuzziness in her thinking, a dissociated helplessness that made it all seem like she was watching herself move and hurt and kill. Thinking about it makes her throat tighten. She wants to say that she wanted to stop, that she didn't know how to stop, that she's sorry, so sorry for hurting him.
But that would be a lie, wouldn't it? If she was really sorry she wouldn't have done it. She's the one who made those choices, no one else. So he's right. If there was really any purpose or goodness to her, she would have fucking shown it by now.
She shoves down the self pity until she's sure her voice will be steady. ]
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He's right, isn't he? There is no point to her. Even less than anyone else in the Pantheon. Here's where he's wrong though, she was more than they made her. Far more violent, and cruel, and dangerous. The Soviets had just wanted an obedient soldier, so why had she become a rabid monster? Why had she rubbed her viciousness into Batman's face. Why had she forced him to bear the punishment for her atrocities? Why did she hate John so much as to break his body over and over and over and over and-
There had been a fuzziness in her thinking, a dissociated helplessness that made it all seem like she was watching herself move and hurt and kill. Thinking about it makes her throat tighten. She wants to say that she wanted to stop, that she didn't know how to stop, that she's sorry, so sorry for hurting him.
But that would be a lie, wouldn't it? If she was really sorry she wouldn't have done it. She's the one who made those choices, no one else. So he's right. If there was really any purpose or goodness to her, she would have fucking shown it by now.
She shoves down the self pity until she's sure her voice will be steady. ]
Sounds like you already know the answer.